ME, MY ADOPTION, AND MY STORY
Where the Fuck is My Mother?
A book for grown-up adoptees
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I’m Annie O. O stands for my last name. O is round. It’s a hole I still live in, that I’m not allowed to escape. Why the fuck is that how it has to be?
Adoption has a long history, with a narrative built around it being a celebrated act of love, of charity and saviorism. I rejoice for those who experienced the best of that narrative. However, there is a growing number of investigations and reports that show, for many, adoption is not and has never been, what people are led to believe.
Why must I go to court to gain access to my identity?
Why was it considered necessary to erase my past?
Why are the adopted treated as second-class citizens?
Why are we all repeating this flawed ideology?
Why are only some people considered tabula rasa?
Where the fuck are our mothers and fathers?
Where the Fuck is My Mother!?
A book for grown-up adoptees
An adopted child is born on the grave of another family.
Gritty depiction of an adopted girl’s journey into adulthood starting in 1970s New Zealand. Annie’s story unearths the dark truths about adoption while shedding light on the fact that it’s not always what it’s made out to be, juxtaposed in this beautifully presented children’s-style book for grown-up adoptees. Her words sit against the raw and evocative illustrations of her half-brother Sparrow Phillips (Component), a prominent New Zealand street artist.
Published: October 2022 | Pages: 38 | Language: English
Presented in large-format paperback.
Limited number of signed editions printed in New Zealand available.
Also available for all major international marketplaces on Apple Books in digital and on Amazon in both digital and paperback.
Review
It has been said that adoption is created through loss because in adoption, in order to gain anything, one must first lose – a family, a child, a dream. In reality there cannot be adoption without loss. Where the Fuck is My Mother: A Book for Grown-up Adoptees speaks of many of the losses that we feel as adopted people. The loss of identity, history, connection, agency, power, autonomy and trust. It is a poignant reminder that, at its heart, adoption is a violent and destructive process that takes away more than it pretends to give. This book voices so much of my story and the stories of myriads of fellow adopted people who have lost so much through adoption. A powerful read.
Lance Lukin
PhD Research Working Title:
Adopting Hope: Lived reality versus theological understandings of adoption and the ongoing implications for mental health and faith development
Degree of Doctor of Philosophy at the University of Otago.
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